Detach From Materials; How to Become Less Stressed

My husband has been job hunting for almost a year.

Last week I mentioned the job he had lined up since October, fell through in January. We are still hopeful it can come back around, but to sit around and wait for that job, is wasteful. So, Kody has been back to applying to jobs.

He graduated from college last May, which means it has almost been a year of job hunting for his career.

It is extremely tough to watch someone struggle when they are so deserving.

A USMC Vet with a college degree (currently receiving his masters) and years of experience, should not struggle landing a job, but that is just our reality right now. I don’t say it to pity him or us, I say it as a learning experience, because our relationship and family dynamic has never been stronger.

We are not stressed because of the “lack” of a job.

We are not tied to material items to make us happy.

Yes, I know, you need a job to survive. You need money to live. I am not naive, this situation cannot last much longer. However, just because we don’t have something doesn’t mean we are not happy. It doesn’t mean we wake up stressed, fighting, and angry at the world. We are not and never were, attached to anything outside our family, or our individual selves, to please us.

I can honestly say we have not fought about this once.

There have been nudges, pushes, and pulls, but nothing more than a conversation. There is no one to blame in this situation. There is nothing to be worried about when you are not in control. There is nothing to stress about when you do not attach yourself to something to make you feel fulfilled, successful, and happy. So, why fight about it?

How lucky are we to spend our days together? To be a team with the boys, chores, and errands? To support each other, pick up where the other slacks, and all around crush life?

Right now we are looking on the positive side, because it’s better than waking up miserable until we “get what we want.”

This is a lesson I have repeatedly taught clients: Happiness and success are two different things.

You need to define each one individually. You can get one first before the second, or have one without ever getting the other.

This means if you are waiting for your perfect success story to finally feel satisfied in life, what if you don’t get it? Are you never going to be happy?

What if you get it and it isn’t what you want? Can the disappointment drop further than the baseline?

If you choose to be happy within what you offer to the world, and how you hold your lens to what the world around you offers, the FEELING of success, fulfillment, and achievement comes naturally.

You will find everything you are looking for within your own spirit and energy. It’s hard to be disappointed and sad when you are in control of yourself.

You decide when you are happy. You choose to not stress. You can dismiss anxiety.

Acknowledge the suck, and move on.

What else are you going to do? Dwell and waste your days away not living?

No. You are going to get back up, push forward with a smile on your face that feels NATURAL and not forced.

And that is what we are doing over here.

With lots of family time, adventures, and the occasional hiding alone in the bathroom because two toddler boys are WILD and LOUD.